26. Coaching and Creating the Life You Want with Katie Richardson

Hi, friends. Welcome to Fearless Infertility a podcast for women struggling with the mental anguish that comes with infertility. My name is Jenica and after suffering in silence for too long I was able to pull myself out of the dark, take control over my mind, and create joy during my infertility experience. I’m here to help you do the same, sister. Let’s dive into today’s show.

Welcome back to Fearless Infertility. In this week’s episode with Katie Richardson, creator, entrepreneur, and business coach, we talk about what coaching is, the results you can get from it and what it was like to coach me. Let’s go.

You guys, September 1st is right around the corner and my coaching program is launching then. And I cannot wait to start, get to know you better, and really apply these tools that I coach and watch you blow your own mind honestly. Like your life is going to be so incredible. And you’ll be able to really accept the ups and the downs.

So be sure to sign up for my newsletter, I have included a couple of amazing freebies to go along with that. So please sign up on thesliceofsun.com or the link is in our show notes as well.

I will send you my Morning Mindset Magic checklist on all of the things that I recommend doing, or that I do specifically every morning to really help put me in a mindset to accomplish any of the goals that I want to in my life and give myself this incredible space to listen to the direction that I need to take in my life.

I will also send you a PDF to give to loved ones who want to support those going through infertility with helpful ideas on how to approach that relationship.

So make sure to sign up for my newsletter and I will send you all the information about my coaching program as well as these amazing freebies that I know will really help you in your life.

Today’s podcast episode is with Katie Richardson. Katie is a creator, entrepreneur, and founder including the popular baby brand Puj. And she’s also a business coach.

She has coached me in business and in life, honestly. And has truly changed the way I approach my life and the way that I view myself in truth, which has literally affected every single aspect of my life for the better.

I could talk with Katie for hours and hours but we tried to hit on the most important things we wanted to share with you. And I am so happy that we all get to listen to her magic.

Today’s winner of the pajamas and socks I give away every Monday for leaving a review on Apple podcasts is liketoshop31. She says, “Somebody needs to hear your story. Jenica gives you tools and advice on how to deal with the hardships of infertility. Not only does she include different perspectives and stories from other strong women facing infertility, but she incorporates her own trials and how she overcame them.

She has given me courage to open up to people to share my story in hopes that it can help others know they are not alone. I’m so appreciative of her vulnerability, strength, and positive mindset. I feel more prepared myself as I enter my second round of IVF. Thank you.”

Thank you so much for leaving your review that really helps those women who are alone in infertility and don’t have these tools yet to be able to find the podcast more easily. So that’s why it’s really important for me that you do so and if you haven’t yet I would love for you to leave a rating and review.

And every Monday I’ll announce somebody that I will give away a pair of my pajamas and socks to that I sell on thesliceofsun.com. So, liketoshop31, please email us at [email protected] and I will choose a new winner next week.

Jenica: Welcome back to Fearless Infertility. I have been so excited about this interview with Katie Richardson. She is so incredible. She has been my business coach and honestly, Katie, I could literally go on and on about you.

Okay, here’s something I’m going to share to help people kind of get to know you a little bit. So Katie and I Voxer back and forth. If you’re not familiar with Voxer, it’s like a walkie talkie app.

So Katie and I were Voxing back and forth like a week or two ago. And Katie was like, she got on her Voxer and she’s like, “Jenica, I’m so excited right now.” And I feel like this is such a perfect way to describe you, because Katie loves being Katie Richardson.

And I love that about her because it gives everyone the permission to love being themselves. And I think it’s such a great example. And I also love that you find passion and excitement in literally anything.

So I did not know this, Katie was in Hawaii. She was watching the sunrise. I thought Katie was going to say, “Jenica, you won’t believe this. I’m sitting in my backyard and I’m just by myself and I’m enjoying the beautiful air.” And you know, just like whatever it was she was doing.

But so she has the same passion for watching a sunrise in Hawaii, as she does for just like being a normal day in the life of Katie Richardson sitting in her backyard. And so I love that about her because I expected her to just like tell me she was doing something that maybe a lot of people would take for granted.

And she’s just equally as happy no matter where she is. And so I feel like that is a fabulous intro for Katie Richardson. Thanks for being here.

Katie: Jenica, I’m super excited to be here, really excited to speak to your audience and to kind of share a little bit of your journey in being coached. I think it’s really important that people understand what it’s like to have a coach.

I had a woman approach me once and say, “Don’t take this wrong way, but I’ve got God, why do I need a coach?” And I think that’s a really good question. And I think that’s one that I think we could answer today.

Jenica: Yeah, absolutely. I love it. And I agree with you. Because I think the first time I heard the word life coaching I kind of rolled my eyes. I was like, “What is that?” It was a few years ago, and obviously, before I met you.

But I think that it’s kind of something that’s a little bit newer. I think that people are starting to talk about a little bit more and seeing the value in it. And it’s literally changed my life. I mean, I feel like I’ve taken a180 in my confidence, and in remembering who I am.

And so I would love for you to start with your story, and how you got where you are today in your career as a business coach.

Katie: Yeah, so I am kind of an anomaly in the entrepreneurial world. I am a business coach, never expected to be here. I was just a girl who really liked making things. At a really young age I liked making things.

And so when I was in college, I ended up studying product design. And took that kind of a little bit of an engineering mind and artistic skill. And that’s what product designers do, is they create products that you buy everywhere, right? Shoes, printers, cars. Product designers touch a lot of things.

And so when I got that degree I excelled really well in school. But in my mind, Jenica, from a young age my vision for myself had always been go to college, get a degree, get married, and then become a mother. Like that was kind of the end of the story for me, so to speak.

And so I had done those things. I found an incredible husband at BYU in the product design department, we got married. I finished my degree and a year and a half into our marriage we started having kids. And it was just kind of like I thought I was on cruise control from that point on and had kind of completed my vision of life as Katie.

And thankfully, I’m a woman of God, I know you are too. Thankfully, God was like, “Oh, actually, I have some plans for you.” And my life kind of evolves from there. And thankfully, I’ve been open to him. And honestly, a lot of times I’ll dig my heels in and very resistant to what he’s saying at first. But that’s kind of the big picture how I got to where I am.

I mean ultimately, I ended up building a physical products business, some people might know, it’s called Puj, P-U-J. We make an incredible baby bathtub. Built that business for about 10 years and then sold it and made a giant leap of faith into a new space, which was coaching entrepreneurs.

I’d had so many people who watched me build this business, not just build the business, but do it alongside my husband. And they would be surprised when they would meet me in person. They’re like, “You seem so grounded.” Like, “How have you done all this, and you’re grounded, and you’re happy in your marriage, and you’re baking cookies with the kids? How are you doing all of those things?”

And so I actually started taking clients on inside of my physical products business when I was still there. And then ultimately, when I made the decision to take somebody up on their very generous offer, I sold the company and then fully made the transition into coaching.

So that’s kind of like big picture Katie, what I’ve done and how I got to where I am. And that doesn’t include all of the pain, the failure, the frustration, the trials, the opposition. I’m sure we’re going to get into that. But that’s kind of the big picture of who I am, how I got here.

Jenica: I love that. And it’s so interesting that you bring that up too, that people were surprised at how grounded you were. Because I think that oftentimes, in general, people have an all or nothing approach to business to family. And it’s like you either have to be all in or not in at all.

And I love that your approach is that way, that we can have balance in our lives and we can really have it all. And, yeah, maybe some things we’ll have to draw back from in certain phases of our lives. But I loved that working with you I felt like I didn’t need to give up being the absolute best mom that I wanted to be and also follow my dreams.

Katie: Yes, as human beings we’re multi-dimensional and we have more than one desire in our life. And I think it’s important to give ourselves permission to pursue a life and a dream that maybe looks different than what other people have potentially expected for us. Or that maybe initially, like me, we didn’t see for ourselves. And it’s just a matter of being open to the possibility of something greater than what we’ve currently dreamed for ourselves.

Jenica: I love that. And I love that you’re ending, essentially, in your plans was becoming a mother. Because I think that’s how a lot of us are, I think that in society it’s like those are the things that you expect.

But I love the idea of being open to new possibilities. And I found that in my own life too, where I had zero desire when I was growing up or in college to start my own business. I could have never seen myself here in this spot. But I think that, like you said, being close to God and listening to his desires for you, and this beautiful path that he has laid out for each of us. And being open to that has been so amazing for me, and I know for you, in figuring out what our next step is. And then also being so fulfilled in that. Because I think he gives us gifts to fulfill whatever it is that he wants us to.

Katie: 100% he gives us gifts. Jenica, would it be helpful if I kind of shared the story of how I navigated that? Because I wasn’t open at first, I wasn’t. And how I got to a place where I was finally open and hearing God more clearly, and then being able to take action.

So I think this story will really resonate with your audience. I was living that life like I described. I’d had two kids? Yeah, I had had two kids. Like I had said I was really successful in school and I’d won some national awards and a scholarship from General Motors. I’d done really well in school.

And then I was very content to be at home with the kids. And yet there was this piece inside of me that was like, “Come on, Katie, there’s more for you.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but no.”

Jenica: Yeah, I’m good. I’m content.

Katie: I was just kind of ignoring it. And I kept getting these opportunities, Jenica. Like the global creative director at Nike, he saw something that I had made on my mom’s 1962 Bernina, some baby shoes. And he was like, “These are incredible. I want to take them to Asia; I want to get them manufactured. And we can put my brand on it.” And I was like, “What? Okay, that’s cool.”

And I was just super excited about all of this. But at the same time, there was this internal conflict because he was painting big pictures, big dreams for me of what’s possible with my skill as a designer. And I’m like, “Yeah, but I have two kids. How do I do that and have two kids?”

And so I had this internal conflict. And as a designer, you look for inspiration, right? And so I’m looking around for a model, somebody who’s proving to me that doing this thing with this guy from Nike, and being a mom, being present with the family, and having an incredible relationship with my husband, and being grounded with God.

Like show me that that’s possible because I’m not willing to go down a road where it ends up breaking up my family, and life becomes not what I intended it to be. I just wasn’t willing to take that risk.

And so I’m looking for this model, Jenica, like this woman, this person, who is like I said, all of those things. And keep in mind, this was like, 2007, 2008. I’m looking for her literally in magazines, in books from the library. I mean, Facebook didn’t exist. I’m looking for her, and I can’t find her.

And yet these opportunities keep coming. And it’s almost like God just keeps dropping these opportunities in my lap. It’s kind of ridiculous. I could tell you all kinds of stories where I was just a nobody, and all of a sudden, throngs of people were around me and they just wanted everything that I had. I’m like, “What’s going on?”

Jenica: Yeah, that’s very surprising.

Katie: Yeah. And the reason it scared me is that future vision of being a mother and being an entrepreneur very much conflicted with my future vision for myself. And that’s what was so scary.

So as I’m looking for this model, I can’t find her. And thankfully, God taught me something in that moment. And he reminded me that Katie, you’re a creator, I’ve taught you the art of creation. You don’t see her, that woman that I’m inviting you to become. You don’t see her, but I can show you how to create her.

And I took my skill as a product designer, where you start gathering ideas and inspiration, and ideating, and even prototyping. I literally brought that to myself and I said, “If I’m going to do this thing, I need to create a woman that maybe the world’s never seen before. But I want to figure that out.”

I became super curious about this. And that became my kind of purpose and mission inside of business, was exploring how to be a woman that God created me to be. Not to be somebody else, but to be the woman that he had created me to be.

And so I became really curious about myself, my gifts and talents, like you said. And asking myself these questions, you know, “How can I grow and develop my gifts and talents, maybe in a way that I’ve never seen before, but that feels right for me.”

Jenica: I love that. And I love that you have the confidence because of your relationship with God to continue to move forward because that is scary. I mean, I think that we all want reassurance that the next step is going to be okay. And it’s nice to follow those who have gone before us.

And when you don’t see that it can be – I mean, I can only imagine the courage it took for you to continue to move forward in that.

Katie: Yeah, and I was doing wild and crazy things. They felt wild and crazy to me at the time. I flew to San Francisco with my husband and my toddler, because he was going to help me demonstrate my product, which was a baby carrier.

And I would walk into baby boutiques, the owner was almost always there, they weren’t expecting me. Nobody had an appointment with me, I would just walk in with my child using my products, and I would just begin having a conversation with them.

Now, before I had done that, my old beliefs were like, “Well you’re supposed to be a businesswoman and businesswomen don’t travel with their toddlers. They don’t take their toddler to the sales meeting.” And so I had to really notice those old thoughts and ask myself, “Is that going to get me what I want?”

And I would keep my focus on what I wanted, and ultimately, the woman I wanted to become. And as I would maintain focus on that, the ideas would come and I would just listen to them, and I would execute them. I mean, I was doing things like – I just even couldn’t visualize this entrepreneur woman who was also a mother and who was so present in her life. I just couldn’t even visualize her.

I started cutting pictures out of magazines and putting on the back of my mirror. And I’m like, “That’s the kind of woman I want to become.” Because there was something about that picture that would embody who I wanted to be in my life. And that was this process of kind of prototyping and creating. And we create her spiritually first, and then we bring her into reality. And I needed some help creating her spiritually first.

And so those were some of the things that I had to do to kind of overcome. And the same is true for these women who are listening to us right now. They’ve had hopes and dreams of what their life will look like and it’s not matching up. And sometimes that can be really, really scary.

And if we can move into this place where we’re really open, and we’re like, “Okay, maybe what I thought was going to be my life, maybe God has something even greater for me and it looks different than what I expected.

And yeah, that’s scary. Can I be open to listening to him in new ways and be so bold and brave and daring to begin to take action on things that I’m feeling inside of my heart that maybe feel scary and might not make sense to me? And I might even have a hard time explaining it to my spouse or other people. But am I willing to trust God enough to begin to start taking action?”

Because you know this, as we listen and we take action the light moves with us. And, yes, we stepped into the dark but pretty soon the light catches up to us. And the way forward begins to be eliminated. But it only happens as we take action. And that’s what I was experiencing.

Jenica: Yeah. And I love that too. I mean, I just feel like, I’m so amazed by you that you kind of figure this out on your own. Because I’ve kind of been on a journey the last couple of years. And it’s taken a lot of people who have literally taught me this model.

And I love that you started with the result. And you said, “Okay, this is who I want to be.” And that’s something that I’ve asked myself in the last year. I’m like, “Okay, I don’t know how to get there. But what would someone who gets those results, what would she be thinking? What actions would she be taking?” I’m not that person yet. But trying to become that person along the way, I think it sounds very similar to what you experienced because you had this vision of what was maybe starting to become possible for you.

Katie: Yeah, I don’t know where it comes from, Jenica, but I have this like, inner rebel who’s like, “You want me to do that? Oh, well, I’m not going to go do that then. I’m going to go do this thing over here.” And I just have this deep seated need to do my own thing and to create.

I started to notice it at a really young age. My mom was a piano teacher and I play the piano, but kind of. I mostly play my own songs. I only play my own songs, in fact. I can’t read music. But sometimes I would have the thought, “Hey, I should go play the piano.”

And I would be literally walking into the living room to play the piano, and my mom who couldn’t see me had the same thought. And she would call to me, “Hey, Katie, why don’t you play the piano?” I’m like, “Okay, you just ruined it. Now I can’t do it, because I would be doing it because you told me to do it, not because I wanted to.”

And I think being able to align with our own will, and what it is that we want, it’s an important thing to us as human beings. And having that agency and choosing our life, choosing the path forward, it becomes an essential element of it. And it’s something that I think we all have, right?

We all have these desires and we have maybe told ourselves, “I can’t have that. I don’t want that. I’m not supposed to want that.” And when we live our life in a way of kind of compulsion and doing what other people want us to do, it ultimately gets in the way. And for me, it was like, drowning out the voice of God in my life.

And so in the beginning it had funny ways of showing up that I had my own desires and I had my own ways of doing things. But continually that inner rebel or whatever she is, has served me and it’s helped me kind of explore new ways of living, new ways of being, and ultimately has really been something that has gotten me to where I am.

Jenica: That’s so cool. And I love for me as well I feel like especially in the last year, I’ve just discovered so much about myself. And I think for you, it sounds like pretty much from a young age, you knew you were creative. Like you like to create things, make things. I would never describe myself as that. And I wasn’t like, I mean, I kind of like doing art projects and stuff when I was little, and I don’t like it now. So in that regard I wouldn’t consider myself creative.

But it’s so interesting, in the last year as I’ve started to grow my business more, to kind of get to know myself better and really listen to God’s will for me. I’ve come to the truth that every single one of us is a creator.

Katie: Yes.

Jenica: And it’s been so eye opening for me because I know who I am. And I’m a daughter of God, and He is the Creator. So, of course, I would be patterned after his image. And so it’s been really cool to see myself in that light over the last couple of years, that every single one of us, every person listening to this podcast episode is a creator. And it might not be in the traditional way that the world views a creative person, but we’re creating something in our life.

Katie: Yes, Jenica, this is so good. I had an art history professor when I was in school, who I was kind of at this point where I don’t enjoy being creative as a young girl, but I felt like it was frivolous. And he helped me have a similar realization.

The way he described it was he said, everybody’s creative. And I was like,
“Okay, but no.” And he continued to talk. And he said, “If you don’t believe me just walk into a preschool. All the kids are holding a crayon and they’re all drawing. It’s just at one point somebody says, that’s good, that’s bad, and we hold back.”

And the reality is like if you’re really good with Excel spreadsheets, you’re probably creative inside your Excel spreadsheets. We all have that ability to carve our own path and to discover something and create something that maybe has never been done before.

And maybe it’s the really cool way that you are organizing your day. And maybe it’s a really cool way that you are doing your work wherever you work. And you developed a cool system at work that nobody else saw and you solved the problem in a new way.

So I really believe strongly that we are all creators. And I love how you brought it back to the source, right? We were created by the Infinite Creator Himself. And of course, we have that ability and that seed within us. And it’s our opportunity to really begin to see that in ourself and to choose how we want to develop that.

And you’re doing that. You are doing this in this community that you’re developing, this podcast, and the life that you’re building. You’re creating this.

Jenica: Yeah, it really is. It’s very amazing to see. And this is why I love Katie Richardson, you guys. This is why she’s an incredible coach. She really helps you to see who you are and remember, maybe truth that you’ve once knew and forgot. I love you.

Okay, so that leads me into why do you think – I guess we can start either way, we can start about what was it like to coach me? Well, let’s start there. So what was it like to coach me? And what changes did you see in me specifically as we worked together?

Katie: Yes, okay. I love that you’re asking me this question. I love that you’re being so open, and that we can share a little bit of your journey. Because I think it really helps, it helps me and it helps everybody who’s listening to maybe see similar aspects in their own life.

So you came to me because you had a lifestyle business and brand. And you also felt a call to do something beyond that. And you felt a responsibility to share your journey and to specifically speak to women who, like you, had struggled with infertility. And you want it to inspire them, to shine a light on this topic, and to illuminate possibility for them. And so this is why you came to me.

And specifically, you were producing some physical goods around this topic, right? And you were developing a Slice Of Sun and you had physical products to kind of be this emblem, this badge of honor, this representation of what these women were going through.

Which is so cool, by the way. I was all about it. As you were describing everything, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, this is so somebody that I can help.” Because I’m all about infusing our business with our own eternal purpose. And that was the transition that you were making. I’m like, “Heck yes. Sign me up.”

Jenica: I love it.

Katie: So we started working together and it was so interesting because very early on you were talking about a business model and importing goods and margins, and pricing, and all of those things. And those things are all really important. I know that. And a business has to be profitable in order for it, to have the resources to continue to share the message. And so we had those conversations.

But very early on I know that that’s one element of how I can help people. And really, like 85, 90% of what somebody is needing my help with is, is developing a really powerful belief in themselves, in their mission, in their purpose, and what God has for them. I know that if I can really help somebody build a solid foundation on that we can overcome all the other issues and problems.

And so you and I would have these messages back and forth. And I can hear the opposition in your voice. You’re like, “Oh, I was talking to this person, he’s going to be helping me manufacturing the goods. And we’re doing this and he said this.” And very quickly I can hear the mindset in that. I can hear the old false beliefs and maybe the lies that you’re telling yourself. I can hear them as a coach.

And so I start to bring in this other conversation, which is well tell me more about why you think that? And how does that make you feel when you believe that? And very quickly tears are happening and it’s like, “Oh my gosh.” And it’s interesting, when people first start working with me, they have tremendous respect for me. And it’s natural to want Katie to see me in a certain light. And so sometimes they can be very hesitant at first to really be open.

And you’re such an incredible woman, Jenica, very early on you started to open up. And we could start to see the old operating system, how I call it. Like the old thoughts that were incredible and had gotten you to where you are. But were now the very thing that was getting in the way. And so very quickly we were having conversations around the stories that you were telling yourself, the old thoughts, the old beliefs.

And honestly a big part of the conversation was, you know, when I’m doing that I’m not with my kids. When I’m working on my business, I’m not with my kids. And I worked so hard to get these humans here, and I love them. And there were times when I could hear them – Oh, this gets me emotional. I could hear them in the background.

So navigating all of this as women, as mothers, I know that. And so it just was exciting to me because I had been through that myself. Like God is calling you to just hoping immense and great. Oh, and there’s some humans at your ankles who want you right now, who need you. And they’re mad at you because you made them lunch and they don’t want that. They want mac and cheese instead, they don’t want those veggies.

It’s just like, oh my gosh. And so it was such this juxtaposition, like your heart was, you know, you had worked so hard and gone through your own infertility journey to get Goldie – And I’m totally blanking on his name.

Jenica: Harris.

Katie: Sorry, to get Goldie and Harris here, and then you were leaving them in a sense to go help other women in their infertility journey. And it was just like, “Oh, my gosh, what am I doing? Am I supposed to be doing this?” So being able to be there and help you navigate those thoughts and to recreate them so that when you’re not with them you weren’t being drained.

Because that’s part of what happens, is we can beat ourselves up in our head. And we can feel bad about the fact that we work. But when we’re at work, then we feel bad about the fact that we’re not home. And when we’re home, we feel bad that we’re not there at work, working on things. And it’s just without realizing it we’re beating ourselves up at every point in our life.

And so helping you see the things that were creating drag in your life, and helping you to create new stories, it just was an incredible journey. And over and over again I think you were surprised as we would get on the phone and you were like, “Okay, this time, we’re only talking about business, we’re not talking about me.”

And a couple minutes into the call, it would finally come out and you’re like, “I just feel like I’m being the worst mother and my employees are frustrating me. And it’s taking forever to get the product here. And I don’t know if I want to warehouse it in my garage.” It felt like the world was falling apart. And you were so open to bring all of it to me. And we could analyze all of the elements and we could put them back together in a way that not only made sense, but had you feeling grounded, had you feeling centered and had clear direction for how to move forward.

So yeah, what was it like? Does that answer the question, what was it like coaching Jenica in the beginning?

Jenica: Yes, it really does. And it’s so interesting, as you talk it just like brings back who I was then. Which I feel like I’m such a different person than I was then because of your incredible coaching. And you’re right, when I first came to you, I didn’t even realize that I think my mental wellbeing, my thoughts, my beliefs played into the results that I got in my business.

And it’s so funny, because now I see it’s like one and the same. But back then I was looking for systems and processes and the secrets to success and to selling. And it is so funny because, yeah, there were many times where I was like, I feel like we’re just talking about a lot of personal things. And yet, I feel like after I’m talking with you, I felt so aligned with who I am. And then I can then figure it out.

And one thing that I love about you is that you never just gave me the answers. And I think that that’s such a valuable aspect of a really great coach, is that you don’t believe that you have all the answers for me. But you believe that I have the answers for me and you helped me discover what those are.

And it’s so interesting, I had a flashback the other day. I can’t remember, I think I was in my room and it was back to like when I had first thought about – Well, I think I was about to launch the pajamas, the initial launch. And I was just so not self-confident. I remember just being so just scared of everything. Of like, what if people don’t buy these? What if they don’t like what I’m putting out?

And it’s so interesting, because I just feel like that challenge has passed. And I’m not internalizing the success of my business to mean anything about me, which is what I used to do a lot, I think. And I’m continuing to have different challenges, so I’ve kind of overcome that. But it’s so cool to see the progress.

And I think, truly I don’t know if I truly believe that I could be successful in what I wanted to do in this life until you. And I remember sitting in the car talking with you one day. And I remember the question, I can’t remember specifically the question I asked, but I was like, “Katie, do you really think I can do it? Do you really think I can?” And you were like, “Yes.” And just the conviction in your voice, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, she’s right, I can do it.”

And it’s so interesting because this comes back to where I think all of our results lie. And they always stem from the thoughts that we choose to think. And then we think them and think them so much that they are then our beliefs.

And I just love also in you coaching me, is that I really came to start valuing the fact that I’m a dynamic human being. And really like involving my kids in what I do now. I think I used to compartmentalize different aspects of my life. Like I’m a mom. And when I’m a mom, I can only do mom things and talk about mom things. And my kids can’t even know I run a business or whatever. It’s just like ridiculous.

And so I feel like now I just accept myself as this more fluid human being where I have so many different parts of me and my family can be involved in my business. And, for example, if I’m recording a podcast and my kids are home, yeah, people might hear them in the background. And when they ask what mommy’s doing, I’ll say, this is what I’m doing tonight.

For example, Goldie woke up the other – Well, she didn’t wake up, she just had never fallen asleep. But she came out of her room the other day. She’s like, “Hey, Mom, what are you doing?” And I was like, “You know what? I’m gonna let her stay up for a minute.” Because I was about to record something that I was going to share with the women in my community. And I was like, I think it’s fine that she sees this.

I think it’s good for her to see what I do, and that I am not only a mom all the time and I help people with this amazing experience in infertility I’ve been given. And we can use our trials and challenges to then pay it forward and help other people.

And so I just think you helped me to see that, yes, I think the illusion of balance is a choice. And I think that you helped me to really believe that I could be whoever I wanted to be. I didn’t have to fit myself into a box. And I think that also comes and ties back into the whole fact that we’re creators.

Katie: Yeah, absolutely. And you highlighted some really important things in there. One of them was that you learned to not compartmentalize life. And there’s incredible things that we can learn in every area of our life.

I’ll tell you, one of the greatest teachers inside of my business several years ago was my daughter when she was four. She was teaching me so much about myself. And I was learning a ton from her and my relationship with her that was improving my business and vice versa. I was learning things in business that were helping me to be a better mom.

And when we can learn how to crossover like that and learn from all areas of our life and then take those learnings and bring them to our roles and responsibilities it helps us to continue to grow and to develop.

And then the other thing that you really highlighted there was how you learned to separate your worth and your value independent of whether or not people liked your pajamas that you were selling.

Jenica: Yeah, which sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud like that.

Katie: Like, “If people don’t like these pajamas, then they don’t like me and I am a nobody.” Very quickly our mind can create that, and we start to believe it. And you got very intentional about developing your worth and your value independent of whether or not people liked the pajamas that you were developing, or the socks, or whatever it was that you’re developing.

And when we do that, we develop tremendous resilience. Because life is not always going to go exactly as we want it to. And so when something doesn’t work out, if it’s attached to our value, then we are a failure, right? If our value is attached to the success of our pregnancy test or our business, then we don’t have value when that is not successful.

But when we can separate that, and we know our worth and our value are connected to God and who He created us to be, and that then becomes this strong foundation so that when things don’t go according to plan, maybe sales aren’t what we thought, or maybe the pregnancy test comes back negative, that doesn’t have any bearing on our worth and our value. And that then gives us the resilience, the faith, the trust, to continue to move forward. And you are living that, you’re very beautiful example of this.

Jenica: Yeah, I love it. And I agree, I truly feel like it’s the most freedom I’ve ever experienced because it’s not as dramatic as it was before. And I’m not so fearful. And I know that I’m not my results a lot of the time, or the results that I get as feedback from other people. And it’s just like the truest freedom, because I know for a fact that God loves me exactly how I am right now.

And I think I always wanted to believe that in some way. But I feel like I’ve truly internalized it now. And it’s just such a good way to live. It’s so much easier.

Katie: Yes. Yeah, what you’re describing, Jenica, sometimes we know things in our mind, kind of logically, but we haven’t fully embodied it. And it hasn’t kind of traveled down to our heart and our body. And what used to be a belief is now a knowing for you. And the path to getting to that knowing is action, right?

Believing, even when maybe we don’t have proof and we don’t have physical evidence, but having a faith and a hope that that’s possible for me and moving forward and taking action. And then we start, like life catches up to us.

So we have a hope and a belief internally, spiritually. We take action on it and with the hope and the belief that God has me, he’s got my back, I trust him. I want this outcome and it might not happen, but I know God has me. And we move forward with faith. And pretty soon life starts to catch up to us. And then we have the physical evidence, the proof, the reality to show that okay, yeah, I can do this. I got this.

Jenica: Yeah, I love that. Thank you. Okay, Katie, the next question is, why do you think coaching is so important? And can you tell us about some of the shifts you have seen and witnessed in some of your clients?

Katie: Love this. So I was not a believer in coaching for a long time. I had had my business for a while. I mean, I was looking for people to help me inside my business, but I didn’t even consider coaching.

And when I became open to coaching is when I realized that there are three realms in our life. There are things that we know that we know, right? So I’m a product designer, I know product. I’m a marketer, I’m an entrepreneur, I know those things. But if you were to ask me about the universe and the planets and the rotation of the sun, I don’t know those things. And I don’t have a hard time telling you I don’t know those things.

So there’s the things that we know that we know, and then there’s the things that we know that we don’t know. I know that I don’t know those things. And then there’s this third realm, which is the things we don’t know that we don’t even know. We’re blind to them. We are stuck in our own head, we’re in an echo chamber. We’re not even aware of it.

And that is why coaching is so important, is when you work with a coach, you get an outside perspective. It’s not necessarily that that person is smarter than you, they literally have a different perspective. And because of that, they’re able to help you see what you cannot see, that you’re totally unaware of.

And this is why I work with a coach and I have for the last six plus years. I know there are things that I’m personally blind to and that I can’t see. And that is the role of a coach, is to help you see you can’t see.

Jenica: Yeah, I love that. And I completely agree. I think that when you’re in your own brain, it’s hard to see what’s happening inside your brain. And my mind has been continuously blown over and over and over again when I’m experiencing a problem. And I’m like, “I’ve just got to bring it to a coach.” And then they see it, they see the results I’m getting based on the thoughts I’m having that I literally was like, “What?” And it’s just like, honestly, mind boggling over and over again.

So I completely agree that that’s valuable. And I just think that, yeah, it’s helpful to get an outside perspective.

Katie: And in order for coaching to even be effective, I think it’s important to understand that you have to be open to the coaching. Because there’s this thing called an ego and if someone points out what you’re doing wrong or what’s getting in the way, and duh, you should have seen this. That’s how the ego hears it anyways. It’s very easy to become offended. Or be like, “Well, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” And have all of our excuses and reasons why we’re doing it that way, or why we thought it needed to be this fill in the blank.

And so in order to be coached, you’ve got to be coachable. And you have to be open and notice your ego and be like, “Oh, wow, that really stings when you say that. But that’s so true.” And it takes being open.

And so to kind of answer your other question, which was like what are some examples of some – Reword it for me, Jenica. Like, overcoming that my clients have done?

Jenica: Yeah, kind of like what are some shifts you’ve witnessed in your clients based on coaching with you?

Katie: So, I have so many good examples. I have a client named Josh, who when he came to me, he knew he was a superstar. And he thought everyone was, this is my words. These are my words; everyone was dumb for not noticing what a superstar he was. And he was dating this girl who, he saw some things wrong with her. And was like, “I don’t know if maybe we’re long term, going to be able to work because she’s not an entrepreneur like me.”

And basically, what I heard was somebody who was pointing the finger and blaming a lot of people in their life and really felt like life wasn’t going according to how he thought it should. And where did I start with him? I started asking the question like, “Who are you?” And he was like, “What do you mean?”

And he would attempt to answer that. And I would say, “Okay, well, what do you want?” And he was like, “What do you mean, what do I want?” Again, super confused. And basically, Jenica, what I was asking him is kind of what the GPS needs to know to get you to your destination. Which was where are you at? And where do you want to go.

And in order to get anywhere with the GPS or in an airplane you have to know those two points, where you are and where you want to go. And so in asking those questions I needed to understand those two points. And it takes a little bit of time to truly uncover that because at first what starts to come out is the rehearsed answers.

Who I think I should be, right, that’s what’s first going to come out. And who my parents think I am. Or who my friends think I am. Or who my followers on social media think I am. That’s kind of the first, what starts to come out. And I’m very good at seeing past that and really getting at the core.

And once we get at the core of who you are, and I understand who you want to be, then I can start to help you navigate life and the world. And so with Josh, we worked together a lot. He was sending me tons of messages every day over Voxer. Plus we would have weekly calls.

And there was a lot of listening on my part because he needed to start making sense of everything that was going on inside of his head. And I needed to see the old thoughts, the old beliefs, the old operating system, so that I could help him rewrite them to get the result and the life that he wanted.

And at the time he had been living in his girlfriend’s mom’s basement. His business was a total roller coaster. He would have some income and then he would go months without income. And he was working himself into the ground. He had developed a reputation in his industry for being good at what he did, but the same time people thought he was kind of annoying and they weren’t returning his messages. They weren’t giving them the time of day.

And why was that? Now he knows he was so needy and desperate of the validation, and the proof, and wanted these people to tell him that he was so awesome. And he was so needy and desperate of that, that it was getting in the way.

And so we started to separate his worth and his value from the success that he had experienced inside of his business. I mean, everything that I’ve taught you. And at first was so confusing. It was kind of scary. And it was like, “What have I done?” He made a $60,000 commitment with me. 12 months for $60,000. Like, hello, that’s a lot money.

Jenica: Yeah, hello.

Katie: He was he was like, “And we’re barely talking about my business.” And yet, let’s fast forward 18 months, he just married that incredible woman that he was dating in the beginning. And I helped him see that she was not the problem, that it was him.

Jenica: Yeah, I love that. I’m sure she thanks you every day.

Katie: He’s incredible. And they just got married in Cancun on the beach. And she’s just incredible. He’s crazy happy in his marriage and his relationship. He’s got an incredible relationship with his parents. And for a while that was hard too, because he was like, “They have old thinking and old expectations, but I love them.” And so it was like, how do I listen to them, love them, and live my life that I feel God is calling me to live? And so I’ve really helped him navigate that.

He’s making a bajillion dollars a year. I don’t know what his income is right now. No, I do. It’s very good. He’s making very good income. He was making good income at one point before, but he was about to sign for a lease in a Chicago high rise. It was the life that he thought he was supposed to live, it was that Instagram life.

And he had this critical moment where he was about to sign for this apartment, and like be the superstar on Instagram. And he was like, “I feel so empty inside. This feels so hollow.” And so he had the money, but he didn’t have the other things. Which were things like meaning and momentum and purpose. He didn’t have those things.

He didn’t know that that’s what was missing. And so when he came into my world, we created the money, the meaning, the momentum, and brought purpose to what it is that he was doing.

And to talk to what you shared earlier, we aligned his God given purpose with the work that he was doing inside of his business. And all of the sudden things started happening, Jenica. And he’s got so many incredible stories of incredible people who were not returning his messages before. Who were not giving him the time of day, who are now sending him messages saying, “You’re the most fascinating person to me. Will you fly out and come spend the day with me?”

Jenica: Wow, that’s amazing.

Katie: So he’s gotten multiple interviews with Russell Brunson, again, a man who doesn’t give people interviews and he says no to everybody. And multiple times, he’s had Josh fly out and come spend the day in his home, and then they do interviews together.

And so right now he is living that life that the Josh of 18 months ago wanted so desperately. And to get there, we had to make him no longer desperate and needy of it. And to really get clear on who he is in a very eternal sense.

Like when I asked him, who are you? He’s like, “I’m a Patriots fan.” I’m like, “Okay, that’s where we’re starting.”

Jenica: Okay, we’ve got some work to do people.

Katie: But what we started to do was to eliminate the clutter and the noise inside of his head so he could really begin to hear the voice of God in his head and to learn to trust it.

Because that’s the scary part, I think, in the beginning is like that voice of God, it’s a faint whisper in the beginning. And it might even sound kind of crazy. It’s like who does that? And so it feels so scary to listen to that voice and to start to take action.

But as you do, and you’re exercising your faith, you’re trust in God begins to grow. And his trust in you and he can trust you with more. And that voice begins to grow, it becomes louder, we begin to recognize it. And we are able to recognize the distractions, recognize the noise and be like, “Oh, yeah, so that’s not for me.” And to say no to those things, and to grow and develop our truest calling, what God has created us to create in this world.

Yeah, so I think he’s a really good example. I mean, Catherine Jones too similar.

Jenica: Love her.

Katie: I could go on and on about her, who you know and love.

Jenica: Yes, Katie introduced me to Catherine at a mastermind right before Covid hit. I think it was like January of 2020.

Katie: It was, yeah.

Jenica: And, oh man. Oh man, people. I love Catherine.

Katie: Yeah, I mean, she’s a woman who, yes, has seen the financial return. Like I think in the first year we 10X her business. And she just got married. That was a dream and a desire that was in her heart for a really long time. She was 28, 29. And I hope Catherine is okay with me sharing this. I’m sure she is.

We had this call once where she just broke down and started crying and was like, “Do I need to freeze my eggs?” Because it just felt like it was not happening. And what she wanted was just not happening. And she couldn’t make it happen. Like it was outside of her control. And so we stayed focused on her, who she was being, how she was showing up in the world, and kind of the future vision of herself and then how to take action now today as that woman.

And so many incredible things have been opening up for her. I mean, she’s been on awesome stages. She gets flown to speak at different events. I mean, was it right before? Yeah, Funnel Hacking Live was right before you met her. She was just about to fly to Nashville and go speak in front of 5,000 people on the same stage as Tony Robbins and Ryan Holiday.

And again, this is a woman when I met her, nobody knew her. Nobody cared about her. But I could see the magic inside of her. She was afraid of that and she felt like a fraud. And I helped her see, no, you’re not a fraud. And let’s show the world who you truly are by first believing it about yourself.

So, I mean, these are very business-y examples. The cool thing about the people that I work with is they see results in all areas of their life. I mean, I had a woman who came to me, Jenica, I think this is really relevant to your audience. I had a woman who came to me, this was a couple years ago. She was a professional woman. She was, I think her business was like a multi-level marketing business. So it’s like entrepreneurial, and very supported by a bigger business.

But she was trying to get pregnant, and for two years couldn’t get pregnant. She had had two kids, and then there was this gap, and she wasn’t able to get pregnant. And it was kind of scary and frustrating for her. And she had done drugs, not done drugs. You know what I mean, she had done the drugs, tried different methods and things were not working.

And this was really early on in my coaching, and she reached out to me and she was like, “I just have a feeling you can help me.” And I was like, “Okay.” And so she came into my world and I taught her the thinking that had helped me and served me in my life and in my business.

And I had reshaped her mind, essentially. And I had found the old beliefs that were holding her back, and we recreated them. And the most wild thing happened, Jenica, like six weeks after we had she had gone through my program we ran into each other. And she was like, “Katie, you’re not going to believe this. I’m pregnant.” I’m like, “What?”

Jenica: That’s crazy.

Katie: Are you serious? Like two years that she had been trying to do this, and to relate to the stories that I shared about Catherine and Josh, she was so needy and desperate of it. Like her worth and her value was very attached to it. And when we separated that, and so many other things, the things that you’re teaching these women to do. Once she had gone through that, and really embodied the things that I had taught her, suddenly her body was able to relax and she was able to get pregnant.

Jenica: That’s amazing. Well, thank you so much for sharing these. I love that. Okay, I guess the last question I wanted to ask you today is, well, two kind of tied in with each other. So for me and what I teach, it all starts with your thoughts. So your circumstances are always neutral and it’s your thoughts about whatever is happening in your life or whatever you’re experiencing that cause you to feel certain ways, take certain actions in your life and then get the results that you want.

So I wanted to ask you specifically about your daily routine. Because I feel like there are certain things that I do daily that really help me to put myself in that mindset and give myself that space to listen to God’s will for me and move forward with, I guess, more clarity. And so can you talk a little bit about the thoughts that are, I guess, comforting to you? Maybe when you’re experiencing something hard.

And then also some of the things that you do in your daily routine that help you to really live the life that you love.

Katie: Yeah. Okay, so to answer that question that you just asked, thoughts that are really helpful to me. I’m going to share a question that you can ask yourself when you notice yourself being in a frantic state, being needy and desperate of something, being in a place where you don’t want to be emotionally or energetically.

And the question that you can ask yourself is, what am I believing right now? There are thoughts and stories and beliefs that we have inside of our head that are creating that feeling and that emotion for us. And if we can identify the story that we’re believing and begin to question the story, that’s kind of the thing that will pull you out of that negative state, non-powerful state. Where we’re attracting maybe negativity and the things that we don’t want in our life. So what am I believing right now?

You know, the brain is a very incredible tool. And we can either be a slave to our brain and our thoughts, or we can become the master of our brain and our thoughts. And the job of our brain is to keep us alive. And it’s hyper vigilant of that. It’s like constantly, “Hey, don’t do that. Don’t touch this. Don’t say that.” And it’s constantly trying to keep us alive.

And there’s this infinite eternal self that is not the brain, that is not our thoughts. And that can observe our brain and can observe our thoughts. And some of the practices that I do that help me pull out of believing on my thoughts and believing on my brain, I do things every day that helped me to kind of separate myself from that.

So I get up early and I go to the gym, I exercise. I don’t exercise so that I can have the body of a supermodel, because I don’t. And I just won’t, I’ve had four kids. I go to the gym to create a certain mental state, and it’s to create the energy that I need for the day. I don’t wake up with energy. I mean, I do have some. But I know that there’s more that I can have. And I go to the gym to create that energy.

So I go to the gym. Oh, but before I do that, I forgot this piece. It’s very essential. I slip out of bed; I drop to my knees and I say my prayers. I need God in my life and I want him to know that I’m listening. So I say prayers. And I learned that I don’t even just hop up and put my gym clothes on and leave, I pause for just a moment to listen.

I had this time in my life where I was seeking answers from him. And I was praying, I was reading my scriptures, I was going to the temple. I was doing all the things that you’re supposed to do and God wasn’t talking to me. And I had this new thought that was like, “Yeah, but Katie, are you listening to me? Maybe I’m speaking and you have not created space in your life to hear me.” And I was like, ouch.

Jenica: Mm-hmm, I’ve been there, absolutely.

Katie: So making sure that we create the space to hear God in our life, to hear his voice, to feel those impressions. This is another little trick in the day, as working women, as mothers, we can be going from one thing to the next and have zero gaps in our day.

And so I started getting really intentional about taking 60 seconds in between things. And just taking a moment to breathe, maybe putting on Yo-Yo Ma or whatever kind of music that you like to listen to, that really helps you center. Maybe just take a breath and consciously breathe and let it out.

But taking a moment to pause in those transitions so we don’t get caught up in the thinking mind. Because that’s where we get stuck, is not being connected to God, not being centered, not being still, not being present in our life. That’s where we get lost.

So those are some of the practices and things that I do to really help me to be centered. Another one I do is I read my scriptures. And I found a great spot to read scriptures. It’s in the car, when I get home from the gym. It’s still early in the morning. It’s like nobody’s pestering me. Nobody wants something from me. Nobody is banging on the door. Because it’s like I didn’t I don’t exist, it’s this third dimension where I don’t exist. Fourth dimension? Fourth dimension, where I don’t exist.

Nobody’s needing anything of me. And it’s just like a couple minutes in the driveway or in the garage where I pull up my phone and I have a chance to connect to – You know, we pray to share with God what it is that we need in our life. And then I read scriptures to hear his voice in my life, to get answers from him.

And so I take those questions to scripture. And sometimes I get an answer. Most of the time I don’t, but guess what? I’m there for it every day. And so that’s another practice that I do to really center myself.

So ultimately, it’s noticing the state that I’m in, asking myself, “Is this getting me what I want? Is this connecting me with God? Is it aligning me with my purpose?” If the answer is no then taking a pause, taking a breath, taking a moment to center myself. Getting out of my head, getting a journal – That’s another practice, getting a journal and writing out.

So when we ask that question, “What am I believing right now?” The best way to navigate that is in your journal. So get out your journal and write the thought and story. And sometimes a thought will come out and I’ll be like, “No, that’s not it. Come on, Katie, tell the truth. What are really you believing right now?”

Jenica: Can’t hide from yourself, even though sometimes we try.

Katie: Oh, I can be really good at it. And so we just need to start writing. And if you don’t know what to write, just write, “I don’t know what to write right now.” And then maybe that will segue into something else. But we need to get out of our head.

I remember sharing that message with you. Jenica, are you journaling? You need to be journaling, here’s why. It’s another practice that really helps us to navigate or thoughts because in a sense we can kind of be like a coach and we have this now outside perspective. It’s literally on paper, we can see it with our eyes, and we can begin to deal with it and it’s not hiding inside of our head.

So those are some of the things that I do in my life to really help me stay centered, to hear the voice of God, and to do the things that both I choose to do and that I also feel called by God to do in this life.

Jenica: I love that and I do honestly most of those things myself. All of them actually. I mean, I don’t read my scriptures in my car, but I do read them in my office. And I think that before I met you, I wasn’t taking that space for myself. I thought I’m just like an active person. I have anxiety and I feel like one of the side effects of anxiety is that I do accomplish a lot of things. Which can be really great, but I think that slowing down comes way less naturally for me then speeding up and powering through my day.

And so that’s been something that’s been so essential for me in hearing the will of God in my life which is honestly like so peaceful. Because it kind of It makes me think that I don’t have to do it all on my own, and that I don’t have to decide everything.

Because it’s a lot of pressure to decide what you’re going to use your precious time on. And when I can listen to Him, who is the creator of everything and the will he has for me in my life. I think that it really is like honestly handing over the reins, and it provides me a lot of peace.

And just that space that I’ve created for myself is not easy for me to do. But I force myself to do it because I know that it will provide me with that clarity and that stillness that I need to move forward in making the best decisions for myself in my life.

And so I loved your suggestion back then, in writing in your journal. And I think I even maybe said this to you, I was like, “I don’t know, I think I’m just going to type it out.” And then I think at one point, you’re like, “No, you should probably just write it.”

And she actually gave me a journal at the mastermind that we were at last January. And it’s so good for me, because it literally forces me to slow down, because I write way less fast than I type, and hear God trying to talk to me. And it’s just been literally life changing for me. So thank you for those amazing suggestions.

Katie: Yeah, you’re welcome. You’re highlighting a really good thing. Writing it out in your journal forces you to be present and that’s the goal. When you’re in that frantic state, you got to pull out of the frantic state by being in the now, being present, and being still.

And like you said, there are times when your brain is like, “Yeah, but I need to keep going. I need to get all these things done.’ But the infinite you is like, “Yes, and you’re going to be your most productive self if you’re present right now.” And so you make that transition.

Jenica: Yeah, 100%. So well said. All right, Katie, where can people find you when they want to connect with you, follow along and see what you’re up to, and the amazing just everything that you offer in the world?

Katie: Yeah, so I actually have a podcast myself. It’s called What’s Working Now. And I share like the first eight episodes are me sharing my entrepreneurial journey. And in that you hear a lot of the mind shifts that happened to help me continue on my journey. And then I also interview incredible people like you, Jenica, hopefully you’re going to be on my show soon.

And then you can also find me on Instagram, Katie.live, and I am also on Facebook, Katie Richardson.live. Yeah, so find me there. Connect with me and send me a DM. Like if you’ve heard something here that is interesting to you or is helping you in your life, I really would love to hear that and to connect with you. And maybe there’s another way I can continue to help you on your journey.

Jenica: Amazing. Thank you so much, Katie. I really appreciate your time. I know everyone else listening does as well. And we will see everyone here next week back on Fearless Infertility.

To celebrate the launch of the show. I’m going to be giving away a pajama and sock sets from The Slice of Sun that I have personally designed. They are the most buttery, soft, delightful things you’ll ever put on your body. And I’m going to be giving away five bundles to five lucky listeners who subscribe, rate, and review the show on Apple Podcasts. It doesn’t have to be a five star review, although I sure hope you love the show. I genuinely want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome show that provides tons of value to you who are experiencing infertility.

Visit thesliceofsun.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the contest and how to enter and I’ll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode.

Thank you for listening to Fearless Infertility. If you want more tools and resources to help you during your infertility experience visit thesliceofsun.com. See you next week.