Brianna Revestir’s Infertility Journey

Infertility is a long journey; it has felt like we have been dealing with it forever. We have been married 10 years and have been trying to start our family for 9 of those years. When you first get married, you think of all the fun new adventures you will have and also have the excitement of someday starting a family together. For me, I was excited for our future together, but I had this feeling a couple of times, even before I met my husband, that when it was time for me to have a child it wouldn’t be an easy road for me. I stayed hopeful and thought I was maybe just being fearful or just being crazy. We had our first pregnancy 7 months after we started trying. I was unbelievably excited. I thought to myself, wow my thoughts and feelings were way off, then that same week we experienced our first miscarriage. We were heartbroken. When you go through a miscarriage it feels like a piece of you just died. At least it did for me. My fears and doubts began to become a reality. 

During the next years we did test after test, fertility meds, tracking ovulation, surgeries (I had a uterine Septum) etc. It was exhausting emotionally and physically. Through those years we were pregnant 5 times, all ended up miscarrying. One was an Ectopic Pregnancy, and we had a one set of twins. We felt lost and hopeless. By this time we made the decision to see a fertility specialist. Long Story short my fertility specialist found I had a Uterine Septum and I had to have surgery to fix it. Once she corrected my septum she advised us to try and get pregnant naturally again to see if that was the problem. She also put my Husband on meds and we became pregnant 3 or 4 months after. We miscarried again this would be our 6th. Now our only option was IVF. We finished the egg retrieval and by the end we only had two genetically good embryos. We were encouraged to test ours genetically because of how many losses we had. We did FET practice cycles and everything went well. Then another road block appeared. I was tested positive for Lynch Syndrome (hereditary cancer, an even longer story). Basically I have a higher risk of certain cancers and I have to get screened annually. So we did a Colonoscopy and Upper Endoscopy. Both were fine, then we tested for the small colon and they found a polyp. They tried to surgically remove it 3 times without success. I did two more small colon tests and an MRI and it finally showed it was no where to be found. For me this was a miracle. I could finally move on and transfer our embryos. 

It had been two and a half years later and we were finally ready to start a transfer cycle. This process took about three months. I am developing endometriosis, because of the septum that was in my uterus, so it took a bit. Our transfer day came and we were so excited AND fearful. It was the happiest day for both of us. I had a positive Beta that next week. We were on cloud 9 and then I began to bleed shortly after. We feared the worst again. The next day to our surprise that one embryo had spit into twins! And that I had a huge blood clot right by the babies. I was put on bed rest and 4 weeks later we learned that both were definitely not going to make it. They scheduled me for a D&C that next week. This was this year, November 12th 2019. It’s still fresh and new so we have no idea what our future holds. Do we try our last embryo, use surrogacy, or Adopt? This has been a hard question for us and we have put a lot of thought into 

each. As we weigh each option and pray what’s right for us we are also taking time to heal. We aren’t sure where life will take us but, what we do know is that infertility is hard, its painful, frustrating and depressing but we have found that praying and having a great support system at home is crucial to healing, it can bring peace and joy. Talking about our struggles not only can help others heal but it also allows us to heal and be more open. I Know that God has been with me this whole time and as we figure out what to do next he will guide us in the right direction and comfort us. Infertility can feel lonely but with God you are never alone. We believe our baby, whatever way he or she comes, is waiting for us and it will be the best day of our lives.