My husband Nathan and I married in 2011 and spent our first year of marriage traveling. When it came time to start a family, we quickly realized it wasn’t as easy as we had thought it would be. After five years of trying and a whole lot of disappointment, we decided it was time to get help. During those five years, we kept our struggle private and played it off that we were content being a cool aunt and uncle. Being an elementary school teacher, I loved on my students each year and felt as if they were my own! We also got a puppy during this time to fill the
void.
Fast forward to January 2016. We started actively seeing an infertility specialist. His office had a mobile with sperm. After an HSG test (which I had cancelled/postponed several times because of Google searches! Just don’t Google!) and LOTS of bloodwork, we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility.
The path we decided to take started with IUIs. My husband and I will never forget that first injection. Never in my life did I imagine my husband giving me injections to get pregnant! We were so hopeful after the first IUI but were disappointed to find out that it didn’t work. We tried a second IUI. It didn’t work. Our third IUI had severe complications that resulted in me almost having ovarian torsion. I have never experienced pain the way I experienced it during that cycle.
The IUI took place the day before my 31st birthday. We had to cancel the transfer and I was sent home with intense pain medications to help me sleep through the painful ovulation that would be taking place. I slept through my 31st birthday and thankfully that painful ovulation. After a lot of discussion, my husband and I decided to try one more time. We had our fourth unsuccessful IUI.
After this, I was mentally and physically done. No matter how hard I prayed and wished for a baby, I felt like the odds were stacked against me. Meanwhile family and friends around us were getting pregnant without a struggle. We celebrated with them and were so happy for them but our struggle continued to break our hearts when Aunt Flo would arrive each month.
We took a break from treatment and spent a lot of time reflecting and discussing future plans. We were ready to throw in the towel but the ONE thing that was hanging over our heads is a conversation we had early on with the infertility center about our insurance covering IVF. We were well aware of the cost of IVF. How could we pass up on that opportunity? Our insurance covered it! In September of 2016, I called the infertility center to start the process for IVF. I was shocked to hear that the next IVF cycle wouldn’t start until November. That seemed so far away at the time! We “signed up” to be part of that cycle. A few days later I was in the middle of a staff development training for work. My phone rang, so I stepped outside to answer. The woman on the other line was confirming with me about starting the IVF process. She then proceeded to tell me an extremely high amount of money that we needed to pay in order for the process to start. She asked how many credit cards we would be using to pay. I corrected her by telling her, “Our insurance covers IVF.” She corrected me by informing me, “No it does not.” My heart sank and tears filled up in my eyes. I asked to call her back and called my husband right away. I knocked the wind out of him with that phone call. After some back and forth with the infertility center, we learned that we were told incorrect information at the start of our process and that IVF is not covered. Hearing the amount of money we would have to pay to start a family was mind blowing, especially since going
through IVF is not a 100% guarantee you will have a child! Because our desire to have a family was so strong, we were willing to pay. We had been smart with finances and had money saved up. So, I called the woman from the infertility center back and paid the amount in full.
Our IVF process began in November of 2016. We were given our IVF calendar which mapped out our medications and appointments for the next three months. We also got the news that our medications, which weren’t included in the money we had already paid, would need to be ordered. Another blow. We couldn’t back out now, so once again, we handed over the credit card. I purchased a hanging shoe organizer to organize my medications. The day the medications arrived, I pulled out box after box and sorted the medications in the organizer. We hung it in our bedroom. That’s what we woke up to each morning and fell asleep to each night.
When the week arrived when we had to start multiple injections a day, my husband and I balled after the first set of injections. The tears were for feelings of being scared, sad, anxious, but also for the excitement of the possibility of what’s to come! My body responded well to the injections, even if on the outside I looked bruised and battered. My husband would leave me notes around the house before appointments “Can’t wait to see your follicles!” or “Show me your follicles!” His
humor and support through the process was everything. Menopur was my least favorite injection. It burnnnnnnneeeed so bad. I found that playing the song “Keep Breathing” by Ingrid Michaelson helped during injections. I sang the following lyrics repeatedly.
All that I know is I’m breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing.
I also wore mantra bands that were given to me by my mom. One said Hakuna Matata, another said Just Keep Swimming (which I joked was more fitting for my husband!), and She Believed She Could So She Did. It was little things like that that kept me going. My husband and I continued to keep our journey very private during this time, only telling some family members and close friends. Despite all the appointments, blood work being done daily, and the 189751987 injections, our IVF story is one of success.
On the day of the transfer, we transferred two embryos. It was one of the most amazing experiences. When they showed the embryos up on the screen underneath the microscope, my husband shouted, “They have your eyes!”
In order to do an IVF transfer, you need to transfer with a full bladder. I almost peed myself on the table before we even got to do the transfer. We were all laughing so hard! Again, my husband’s humor got us through this process! A little while later, we watched on the screen as our amazing doctor transferred two embryos. We were told based on the quality of one of the embryos that we had a 10% chance of having twins.
Two weeks later, bloodwork confirmed that we were pregnant! It wasn’t until around our 6 week appointment where we discovered we would be having fraternal twins.
I saw two dark circles on the screen which I knew right away were sacs. I started laughing even before the doctor announced twins. My husband thanked the doctor for doubling our investment! Another good laugh shared in the doctor’s office!
Pregnancy with twins was difficult but I didn’t want to complain because of the journey it took to become pregnant. My girls were born at 34 weeks and 1 day. Addison “Addie” Ryan spent two weeks in the NICU and Emerson “Emmie” Megan spent five weeks in the NICU. When we had both girls together, our house became a home.
Looking back on our journey, I only wish I had been more vocal and more open about what we were going through. After the girls were born, I shared a little bit about our journey on Facebook. I was absolutely SHOCKED to discover how many women reached out to share their stories. Those messages would’ve been so comforting while going through the process. It wouldn’t have felt as isolating. Since opening up, we’ve been able to support other couples we know and love in their
infertility journeys. I’ve also become a Twin Mentor for Twiniversity and currently am mentoring five twin moms! In addition, my husband and I have been asked by the NICU that took such amazing care of our girls to serve on an Advisory Council Board to continue to support families with little ones in the NICU.
Infertility should not be something to be ashamed about and I want to make sure that those that are experiencing it don’t have those feelings! Knowing that women will be reading our story, will be finding comfort from it, and will feel supported in their journey makes the years of infertility worth it. Jenica’s blog and Instagram served as a big source of comfort and support during our struggle. Also, Christy Tyler (@christytylerphoto) was a huge source of comfort as well. Two strangers that I have never met made such a huge impact in my life.
Since they shared their stories, I was able to thrive during my infertility journey. I’m forever grateful for their openness. Now it’s my turn to be open about our journey!
– Lindsey Rearick
Instagram: lrearick25
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